At the 2026 Oscars, Jessie Buckley won Best Actress for her role in Hamnet and dedicated her award to the “beautiful chaos of a mother’s heart”. Marking UK Mother’s Day, she celebrated the strength and complexity of motherhood, calling it the “greatest collision of my life”.
Indeed, becoming a new mom is one of life’s most turbulent and magical experiences. Those tiny fingers, sleepy cuddles, and first smiles can fill your heart in ways you never imagined. But alongside all that incredible joy comes a very real challenge: sleep deprivation – also a widely reported method of Chinese torture!
If you’re feeling exhausted, emotional, or just not quite yourself, you’re not alone. The early postpartum months are a beautiful blur of love and learning – but they’re also a time when sleep becomes a rare luxury. And while a little tiredness is expected, ongoing sleep loss can have a significant impact on your mental health.
The reality of sleep deprivation after childbirth
In the first few weeks (and often months) after giving birth, uninterrupted sleep can feel like a distant memory. Newborns need to feed every two to three hours, and their sleep cycles are seriously unpredictable. Many new moms end up getting less than five to six hours of sleep a night – usually in short, broken stretches (if they’re lucky!).
This isn’t just about feeling tired. Sleep plays a vital role in how our brains and bodies function. When rest is consistently disrupted, it can affect emotional balance, memory, and decision-making – creating a cycle of exhaustion and stress that leaves many moms feeling overwhelmed. Here are some of the mental health consequences of sleep deprivation.
Postpartum depression (PPD)
Research from the Mayo Clinic shows that persistent sleep deprivation is strongly associated with postpartum depression (PPD). Poor sleep can disrupt important mood-regulating neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine, increasing the risk of depressive symptoms. While many mothers experience the “baby blues” in the first couple of weeks, PPD is more intense and long-lasting. Symptoms may include:
- Persistent sadness or hopelessness
- Loss of interest in daily activities
- Difficulty bonding with your baby
- Feelings of guilt or inadequacy
- Changes in appetite or sleep
- Thoughts of self-harm or harming the baby
Anxiety and emotional ups and downs
Sleep deprivation can also heighten anxiety. You might find yourself worrying constantly about your baby’s well-being or questioning your own abilities as a parent. This happens because lack of sleep activates the body’s stress response system, increasing cortisol levels and keeping you in a heightened state of alertness. Mood swings and irritability are also common. One moment you may feel calm, and the next you’re in tears. Don’t worry, you’re not pregnant again! These emotional shifts are not a sign of weakness – they’re a normal response to exhaustion and the hormonal changes that follow childbirth.
Where “mom brain” and decision fatigue meet
If you’ve ever walked into a room and forgotten why, you’ve experienced the infamous “mom brain”. Sleep deprivation affects the prefrontal cortex – the part of the brain responsible for memory, concentration, and decision-making. This can lead to forgetfulness, difficulty focusing, and feeling mentally foggy. When combined with the constant demands of caring for a newborn, this mental overload can make even simple decisions feel overwhelming, leaving many moms feeling less confident or in control. So, what can you do about it? While broken sleep and a “bad night” is an unavoidable part of early motherhood, there are practical ways to protect your mental health and improve the quality of rest you do get.
Prioritise rest over productivity
It’s easy to feel pressure to “do it all,” but rest is not a luxury – it’s essential. When your baby sleeps, give yourself permission to nap instead of catching up on chores. If your friends come over to visit your baby – get them to empty the dishwasher instead (or as well!). A well-rested mom is better equipped to care for both her baby and herself.
Share nighttime duties
If possible, involve your partner or a trusted family member in nighttime care. For breastfeeding moms, expressing milk can allow someone else to handle a feeding, giving you a longer stretch of uninterrupted sleep. Even one uninterrupted stretch of four to five hours can do wonders for your mood and energy.
Create a supportive sleep environment
Small changes can make a big difference. Keep your bedroom cool, dark, and quiet. Consider using blackout curtains or a white noise machine (or app on your phone) to help both you and your baby fall back asleep more easily. Limiting screen time before bed and reducing afternoon caffeine can also improve sleep quality.
Establish a soothing bedtime routine
Simple rituals – like gentle stretching, deep breathing, prayer, meditation, or reading – can signal to your body that it’s time to rest. Even if sleep comes in short bursts, consistency helps regulate your internal clock.
Seek emotional support
Talking about your experiences can be incredibly comforting. Whether it’s a friend, family member, partner, support group, or therapist, sharing your feelings helps normalise the challenges of new motherhood. Connecting with other moms (even if it’s just to go for a walk) can also provide reassurance and practical tips.
Get professional help
The South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) reports that postpartum depression affects approximately one in three families in South Africa – significantly higher than the global average. If you suspect postpartum depression or anxiety, it’s important to seek professional support. Help is available, and recovery is absolutely possible. You can contact SADAG by calling 0800 567 567 or visiting www.sadag.org. Early support can make a profound difference in your recovery and your bond with your baby.